is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
