I'm lost and stupid without you.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
