he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
