Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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