but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
