pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Vodka?
Forever.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
