So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
