whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
