We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
