don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I understand Curling. That high.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
