my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
