im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
