she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
