Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
