Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
