I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Acid is not a monday night drug
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
