So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
