He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
