How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
