My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
