Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
