once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
