Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
