proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
