If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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