your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
