i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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