why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
