Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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