So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
