I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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