somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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