id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
