just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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