please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
