pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
