Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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