belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
