I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
