dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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