the condom got lost in my hair
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
