Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
