I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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