If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
