I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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