im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
