I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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