I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
