talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
