New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
