dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
