You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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