and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
